The Small Wave.

Today, Mudbutt, OK-based TinyTech sued Apple for pretty much everything. The lawsuit alleges Apple infringes on “some of our stuff” and calls for compensatory damages of “a bajillion” dollars.

In their press release today, TinyTech stated that they had to take legal action. “We were sitting around brain-storming our next great idea (OK, our first great idea), and then it hit us,” said Bjorn Loser, TinyTech’s President and CEO, “all these people suing Apple, and we’re not getting a piece of it.”

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One of the video podcasts I subscribe to Mr. Deity, now in its second season. In the latest episode, Mr. Deity claims ideology is the problem with fundamentalism. When asked if ideology is bad, he replies:

It’s the worst. Are you kidding me? Look at all the great evils they’re all ideologically driven. You got the crusades, the holocaust, communism, no third-party apps on the iPhone. Never, never surrender yourself to an idea my friend, never.

So it is spoken, so shall it be done?

CUPERTINO, California—January 31, 2008—Apple® today released Release Notes Restrictor ® 1.1, a worthy upgrade to its powerful note-restriction software. Release Notes Restrictor 1.1 adds support for even shorter sentences, fewer nouns, more ambiguity, and in some cases does away with verbs completely.

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At last! Something that will make a PC as good as a Mac on the inside.

Now if we can only get some designers to perform similar magic on the outside…

Heck, I’m not even an intern and I have shot at full-time work. My problem is that I miss every time; I can’t seem to kill the damn thing.

Our software is the world’s finest at doing what it does.
We’d elaborate on this a bit if we knew just what that was.

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