Posts from an Internet island...

Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

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Tweet It

In General on Monday, 29 June 2009 at 7:51

They told him don’t you ever blog around here.
We’re forming into cliques that you’ll get nowhere near.
We wouldn’t read your posts if you bought us a beer.
So Tweet it, just Tweet it.

You have a lot to say; opinion is strong.
But no one reads a thing that’s over 10 words long.
You better make it quick, or soon you’ll be gone.
So Tweet it, Tweet it.

Tweet it! Tweet it!
Keep it short and folks will read it.
Show ‘em how pithy you have become;
Anything long and our brains go numb.
Just Tweet it, just Tweet it… Read the rest of this entry »

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TAB – Ode to Apple’s Netbook Mini Touch HD Tablet Device

In General on Wednesday, 11 March 2009 at 15:10

I’ve been reading all the rumors
Of Apple’s new machine.
Seems everyone knows just what it is
Although it’s never been seen.

Some say it’ll be a netbook;
That’s what Chinese papers proclaim.
Their track record has been spotty at best
But we believe them all the same…

Read the rest of this article on theAppleBlog >>

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TAB – Photo From Apple’s Design Studio: Latest Apple Product Revealed?

In General on Thursday, 22 January 2009 at 15:36

In promoting his upcoming film, Objectified, a documentary maker published a photo (above) of Jony Ive from “inside Apple’s design facilities.”

Naturally, tech bloggers the world over will examine the photo in detail in the hope that Apple slipped up and left something in the photograph that reveals their next “sooper seekrit” product. Rumors and speculation will run rampant. After all, if every Chinese newspaper or two-bit tech pundit or analyst publishing nonsensical information becomes grist for the rumor mill, then certainly an actual photograph of “mad scientist” Ive’s lair should give us material for months. 

I’m getting ahead of the curve to reveal that, after close inspection of the photograph, I can report on Apple’s latest cool new device…

Read the rest of the article on theAppleBlog >>

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TAB – ‘Twas the Night Before Macworld

In General on Monday, 22 December 2008 at 14:07

‘Twas the night before Macworld, when all through the blogs
Every pundit was asking “Where is Steve Jobs?”
His stockings were hung at Mascone with care,
But it seems his last keynote was for MacBook Air.

The attendees were not yet settled into bed;
All concerned that we only get Schiller instead.
Will there be dazzling products? What can we expect?
And will somebody get Phil a black turtleneck?
 
Then inside the hall there arose such a clatter
I pushed through the line to see what was the matter.
I flew like a flash on my way to the stage
As the keynote began, and the crowd was engaged.

Read the rest of this poem on theAppleBlog >>

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TAB – SuperSite FAQ About Windows 7 — What They Really Meant to Say.

In General on Thursday, 16 October 2008 at 12:18

Since Microsoft is trying hard not to talk about Vista, they’re falling back on their SOP of deflecting attention to a shiny new object, in this case Windows 7. To that end, the SuperSite for Windows hastaken it upon itself to become the “central location for accurate information about Windows 7.” 

While I’m sure they meant well, when I read their answers I can see that either the SuperSite was not quite getting them right, or maybe they just chose to use an awful lot of words to say something that could be done much more succinctly.

Read the rest of this article on theAppleBlog >>

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TinyTech Sues Apple Over Macs, MacBooks, Mac OS X, iPhones, iPods — um, What Else Have They Got — Oh Heck, Everything!

In General on Wednesday, 19 March 2008 at 11:34

Today, Mudbutt, OK-based TinyTech sued Apple for pretty much everything. The lawsuit alleges Apple infringes on “some of our stuff” and calls for compensatory damages of “a bajillion” dollars.

In their press release today, TinyTech stated that they had to take legal action. “We were sitting around brain-storming our next great idea (OK, our first great idea), and then it hit us,” said Bjorn Loser, TinyTech’s President and CEO, “all these people suing Apple, and we’re not getting a piece of it.”

Read the rest of this entry »

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Mr. Deity and the iPhone.

In General on Saturday, 9 February 2008 at 23:18

One of the video podcasts I subscribe to Mr. Deity, now in its second season. In the latest episode, Mr. Deity claims ideology is the problem with fundamentalism. When asked if ideology is bad, he replies:

It’s the worst. Are you kidding me? Look at all the great evils they’re all ideologically driven. You got the crusades, the holocaust, communism, no third-party apps on the iPhone. Never, never surrender yourself to an idea my friend, never.

So it is spoken, so shall it be done?

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Apple Releases Release Notes Restrictor 1.1

In Uncategorized on Wednesday, 30 January 2008 at 23:40

CUPERTINO, California—January 31, 2008—Apple® today released Release Notes Restrictor ® 1.1, a worthy upgrade to its powerful note-restriction software. Release Notes Restrictor 1.1 adds support for even shorter sentences, fewer nouns, more ambiguity, and in some cases does away with verbs completely.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Finally! A PC that’s as good as a Mac!

In Uncategorized on Tuesday, 14 August 2007 at 14:16

At last! Something that will make a PC as good as a Mac on the inside.

Now if we can only get some designers to perform similar magic on the outside…


Not sure why, but I thought this headline was funny…

In General on Tuesday, 14 August 2007 at 11:51

Heck, I’m not even an intern and I have shot at full-time work. My problem is that I miss every time; I can’t seem to kill the damn thing.

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Ode To The Software Industry

In General on Wednesday, 23 May 2007 at 17:33

Our software is the world’s finest at doing what it does.
We’d elaborate on this a bit if we knew just what that was.

Read the rest of this entry »