The REO Speedwagon Song RIM Should Have Used For Developers

Roll With The Changes

As soon as you are able, devs, to begin winnin’
You make that break that you have been denying
It’s getting hard to have faith in the tales we’re spinnin’
And we can tell that you’re no longer buying

So if you’re tired of the same Blackberry, oh, swipe some pages
We’ll stay here while you move on, and roll with the changes

We didn’t see it coming, saw no tables turnin’
Thought iPhones were just a pain in the ass
We couldn’t understand it, and didn’t end up learnin’
Users can really type on a piece of glass

So if you’re tired of the same Blackberry, oh, swipe some pages
We’ll stay here while you move on, and roll with the changes

It seems our time is over, we don’t have much comin’
And you need to make money now, we guess
Our brains are really straining, but yeah, we got nothin’
We understand your flight to iOS

So if you’re tired of the same Blackberry, oh, swipe some pages
We’ll stay here while you move on, and roll with the changes

Keep on rolling, keep on rolling, keep on rolling…

There Is No Plan B.

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The chart totals over 100% because respondents were allowed multiple choices. That’s too bad because it skews things a bit. Yes, the iPad is stomping everyone, but 94.5% has less meaning when the total comes to nearly 150%.

It’s better to look at this one column at a time, where we can determine a device’s absolute rejection (not acceptance). For example, we don’t know that 3.8% of respondents would buy a RIM PlayBook, because it may have been their second choice, but we do know 96.2% of respondents rejected it outright, since it’s not on their list at all.

I think of the beatdown like this: for each iPad competitor (column), 90% or more of respondents rejected it. In other words, nine out of 10 people wouldn’t even put it on their list as a second choice. Meanwhile, the iPad is rejected only 5.5% of the time. Put it all together and we know not only that the vast majority of respondents are interested in the iPad, but that for most of them there is no Plan B.

The Answer Is No.

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Samsung Galaxy Tab:

Sales not as fast as expected… a Samsung executive revealed those figures don’t represent actual sales to consumers. Instead, they are the number of Galaxy Tab devices that Samsung has shipped to wireless companies and retailers

HP Touchpad

According to one source who’s seen internal HP reports, Best Buy has taken delivery of 270,000 TouchPads and has so far managed to sell only 25,000, or less than 10 percent of the units in its inventory.

RIM PlayBook

RIM has quietly cut its sales expectations for the BlackBerry PlayBook after its disappointing sales from the spring

Motorola Xoom

New estimates for sales of Motorola’s Xoom tablet–available since late February–are in, but even the most optimistic predictions are scarily small and pale next to the iPad 2′s first-weekend sales numbers.

Antennagate: The Finale?

Marketing can be a chess game. Steve’s made his move, now his competitors get to make theirs. “Them’s fighting words” for these guys, and they’ve already had some nasty things to say about Apple drawing them into its “self-made debacle.” Careful with this one, boys. You may protesteth too much. More and more stories are beginning to appear confirming that this really is an industry-wide problem, and other phones do suffer from a similar death grip.

Good article that sums it up well. I chose the above quote because the statements from RIM, Nokia, HTC, etc. have all been non-denial denials. Like the author, I agree this should backfire on them, but believe it won’t because their phones just aren’t that interesting.

Why would a tech site spend their time thoroughly testing other companies’ “death grips” and then publish the results when no one will click the link anyway? Apple gets page-hits, others do not. This stopped being about “news,” or “concern” for the consumer, and crossed over into the realm of SEO and page hits long ago.

RIM Publishes Non-Denial Denial.

Apple’s attempt to draw RIM into Apple’s self-made debacle is unacceptable. Apple’s claims about RIM products appear to be deliberate attempts to distort the public’s understanding of an antenna design issue and to deflect attention from Apple’s difficult situation. RIM is a global leader in antenna design and has been successfully designing industry-leading wireless data products with efficient and effective radio performance for over 20 years. During that time, RIM has avoided designs like the one Apple used in the iPhone 4 and instead has used innovative designs which reduce the risk for dropped calls, especially in areas of lower coverage. One thing is for certain, RIM’s customers don’t need to use a case for their BlackBerry smartphone to maintain proper connectivity. Apple clearly made certain design decisions and it should take responsibility for these decisions rather than trying to draw RIM and others into a situation that relates specifically to Apple.

Above is the full statement from RIM Co-CEOs Mike Lazaridis and Jim Balsillie.

Sounds harsh, yet nowhere in that torrent of words do they deny the Blackberry Bold has a death grip issue. Good thing, too, because it most certainly has one.

I have an iPhone 4 and can reproduce the death grip; once I knew how to hold it, it was easy. But I also own a BlackBerry Bold 9700. Guess what? Now that I know how to hold it, I can reproduce the issue with it, too. In fact, my tweet about it came many hours before the Co-CEOs published their non-denial denial. 

But what about the Bold owners who swear they can’t reproduce it? I guess we pay as much attention to them as the iPhone 4 owners who say they can’t reproduce it, either. Fair’s fair, right? I’d like to point out that I’ve never dropped a call on my iPhone 4 or Bold, both sans cases, so the real world counts for something.

It’s a shame that even with two CEOs RIM weren’t smart enough to let this go, choosing instead to get all puffed up while not even denying what they presumably got puffed up about in the first place.

Meanwhile, the reason RIM “has avoided designs like the one Apple used in the iPhone 4″ is because Blackberrys are relics from a half-decade ago. The most “innovative” thing RIM’s tried to do in five years is add a touch-screen to a track-ball based OS, and they failed miserably. Both times. This is why they’ve been giving their phones away—buy one, get one free—for nearly a year. 

The good news for RIM is that people are so disinterested in their out-of-touch (pun intended) relic that the Bold won’t get near the attention Apple’s innovative iPhone has. This is one time where RIM’s inferior product will actually help them. 

Apple Crushes Everyone In Cell Phone Customer Satisfaction Ratings

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Surveys of consumers’ future buying habits mean very little. If consumers did what they said in surveys, products made via those surveys would be raging successes, but they’re not. Apple, perhaps famously, eschews such surveys, contending a customer doesn’t know what they want until they see it. So even though the future looks great for Apple in the article’s surveys, it means little to me.

There is, however, one type of survey that’s very important. Customer Satisfaction is not about the future, it’s about real people who own the device now, and how happy they are with it. I would argue it’s the only survey that really matters. Look at that chart. Apple crushes everyone by such a wide margin the other guys should be revamping their support policies, procedures and staff, not their product lines.