iPhone iDiocy.

Enough!

I’m not referring to the iPhone hype. That’s fine, especially now that we have Apple’s ads for the product, and an availability date of 6/29.

No, I’m referring to the many articles asking ridiculous questions about things we already know (or should have known) about the iPhone. As if Apple’s own web site and six months of constant discussion have not revealed so much as a clue about the device. Below are a few of the things I’m talking about.

“Hey, My Whopper Doesn’t Look Like It Does in the Commercials!”
Let’s start with a ZDNet article so impressed by the “speed” of the iPhone on the commercials that it actually asks if the iPhone is really that fast? The article states:

“The internet speed was particularly noticeable in the Calamari video where the person went to Google Maps to find a seafood restaurant and then called the restaurant after opening up the details with a simple screen tap.””Do you think the videos are showing real performance of the iPhone?”

Oh please. I can answer the question: No, it’s not that fast. It’s a commercial. Have you ever seen a commercial for photo printing? Did you buy one of those printers because of how fast the print came out? Are you that gullible? These were short spots and they’re not going to waste valuable TV broadcast time showing the New York Times load. The speed of the device was witnessed in the January demo, where it loaded the NYT live over WiFi. It was no speed demon, but it’ll work.

You Are Here. (Because you told me so.)
Then there are the articles asking if the iPhone has GPS. This takes two different approaches. One of them believes this is possible because:

“The ad entitled ‘Calamari’ shows a button at the bottom of the screen that reads “Directions To Here” which would mean that the iPhone has GPS capabilities.”

No, it would not mean that. It would mean that, like any map application on the web (Google’s, MapQuest, Yahoo’s, etc.), it has a function to get directions to “here”, where “here” is the location displayed on the map!

Other articles have claimed it must have GPS because in the commercial the location came up without prompting. Gasp! That means it must know where you are, and that can only mean GPS. Well, unless, of course, it means that you can have a default location like Map applications are wont to have.

All This Chitter Chatter…
Then there are the sites bemoaning the lack of iChat shipping on the phone. I saw a few of these articles so I’ll just pick one. It says:

“An iChat program will not be included in the initial operating system. Coupled with the lack of support for 3rd party apps for the time being, this means that there will be no way to get your instant messaging fix for now.”

But iChat was never promised or touted as a feature of the iPhone. It’s not on Apple’s site for the iPhone. Further, some of the sites seemed to think this would have been video chat, apparently not even realizing the camera is turned the wrong way.

It’ SIMpossible!
Then there’s the tragedy of no accessible SIM slot. The same article above mentions this:

“There will not be an external SIM slot, contrary to the announcement at MacWorld stating that the phone would have a SIM slot at the top of the device.”

What was announced at MacWorld is the existence of a SIM slot, which is no doubt built-in to the device. I would think it’s not accessible in the initial release because the device in the U.S. is exclusive to AT&T, and doesn’t need it accessible. I’m not at all surprised to see Apple put the whammy on changing carriers via SIM slot on initial release. I’m sure AT&T wanted this, but Apple likely wanted it, too, to better control the initial user experience. They’ll make the slot accessible when they need to (at the international release, which is the primary reason for the slot in the first place), but for now they don’t need to.

The 12th Man.
And then there’s the 12th application. Lots of sites reported this, but again I’ll only pick one:

“However, there is an odd shot in the newly released “How-To” iPhone ad, where the screen goes from the traditional 11 icon view, to a new 12 icon view.”

And this article has got lots of pictures as proof! Yes, plenty of “eight-by-ten color glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was” to prove their point that there’s a 12th icon. So naturally, they query:

“what is the mystery app that has bumped all these apps down one spot?”

Well, am I the only one who believes one of the settings allowed on this phone will be to modify the main menu? I mean, this seems like a pretty obvious thing to me. Maybe add and remove items like a favorite contact or location? Perhaps in using this particular iPhone that’s all that was done. I don’t know this, of course, but it seems as likely to me as there being some mysterious app that Apple wants to keep all hush hush until the very end.

So, only one day after the ads initially aired and the availability date is set, the craziness begins in earnest. It almost hurts to think that we have 25 more days of this to come. Brace yourselves.

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One thought on “iPhone iDiocy.

  1. The anticipation is very high even by Apple’s standards and people are drooling since last January. We’re entering a state of temporary insanity, I suppose. 😀

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